The PPGA and more

Welcome to the web home of the Piss Poor Golfers Association ... as well as other various thoughts from the Commish. (And don't forget to ask me about making a birdie on No. 15 at Augusta National.)

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Crim Challenge 2007

Gents,

It's a 2-for Sunday!!! After telling you old tales about the opener, the Crim Challenge report is a tad bit fresher.

We met this morning on a sunny day to tackle Cedar Crest Country Club, the place with no fairways.

We had a decent turnout even though no one seems to be interested in playing any more. We had an opposite field event as FedEx Bob had some of his homies in town to play Westview. Also, Noodlehauser's Ripken-like streak of playing no matter what his physical (or mental) ailments were came to an end because (well I can't remember why and it doesn't really matter.)

The Crest was much more kind to us than Westview was a few weeks before even without the absence of true fairways anywhere on the course. Then again, what do you expect for $15 for 18 and a cart.

We had a true ex-officio in our midst, Eric Scholz. A therapist at the Newman Clinic, Scholz played mind games with the course. He turned in a 12-par, 2-birdie effort that resulted in a 2-over 73, which included a bogey-bogey finish. He could have smashed par. It was the most impressive PPGA performance since we guilted Ryan Graff into playing with us a few years back.

Still, the news of the day was Schuckman's play. The Big Redhead fashioned himself a 7-over 78, the first time he has ever broken 80. Who knows where the great play came from? Has watching all the little soccer girls run around left him frustrated with his woman 5 hours away in Chicago? (Wait, he ain't Rabby. Sorry about that.) Did he take those frustrations out on the little white ball? Whatever he did, it worked.

Schuck made 11 pars on his round to finish second to Maas, who had a 75. Since Maas is really an ex-officio this win goes to Schuckman.

We would have liked to have seen more people show up for the cheap golf, but you snooze, you lose.

Here are the results

Scholz 73
Maas 75
Schuckman 78
Broc 83
Crim 88
DOB 92
Linkster 102

Hole of the day honors go to the Linkster. We've never had an ace on the PPGA, but the Linkster darn near became the first. Playing the 148-yard sixth hole, the Linkster stuck his tee shot within 18 inches of the pin. He even rolled in the birdie putt for his first bird of the season. Congrats, Linkster.

Again, no EE or Raymond meant no good Slappy material. We're starting to mellow in our old age.

Despite his miracle shot, the Linkster still claimed Hardcore honors, but nearly broke PPGA par of 100. Progress, baby!!!

Here are the updated PPGA stats:

PPGA Order of Merit (No. of events played)
1. Maas 80.5 (2)
2. Crim 88 (1)
3. Schuckman 88.5 (2)
3. Broc 88.5 (2)
5. DOB 94 (2)
6. EE 95 (1)
7. Dyer 97 (1)
8. Middendorf 100 (1)
8. Noodlehauser 100 (1)
10. Marth 105 (1)
11. Linkster 107 (2)
12. Marth-in-law 136 (1)

Birdie leaders
1. Maas, 3
2. EE, 1
2. Linkster, 1

Par leaders
1. Maas, 15
1. Schuckman, 15
3. Broc, 10
4. DOB, 9
5. Crim, 5
6. Anders, 4
7. EE, 3
8. Dyer, 2
8. Noodlehauser, 2
8. Linkster, 2
11. Marth, 1

Greenie leaders (Money won, No. won)
1. Scholz ($14, 2)
2. Linkster ($7, 1)
2. Maas ($7, 1)

Wins (place won)
1. Maas, 1 (Westview)
1. Schuckman, 1 (Cedar Crest)

Hardcore wins (place won)
1. Hapless (1, Westview)
1. Linkster (1, Cedar Crest)

OK, now no one can complain about no updates of the blog. Let's try to get together again the first Saturday in June. I believe that's June 3. If you're interested in playing either email me or leave a comment on the blog. I don't care where we play.

Until next time.

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The 2007 opener

Gents,

After a long delay and many requests, here's the recap of the PPGA lid-lifter for 2007. We were too lazy to go out of town (and heard the bugs were killing people at our normal opening spot down in Barry). As a result, we hit lovely Westview Golf Course for our opener.

For the first time ever, we had a split start. The foursome of Marth, Marth's father-in-law, EE and Schuck took off about 45 minutes before the rest of the crew. Maybe one day we'll actually have to close down a course in order to play an event. Dare to dream, baby!

Anyway, this one wasn't one to write home about as we all pretty much blew.

Here are the results (the Linkster had requested that his score not be posted. If he doesn't want his scores posted like an old woman, he can form the LPPGA - the Ladies PPGA, not the Linkster PPGA.):

Maas 86
Anders 94
Broc 94
EE 95
DOB 96
Dyer 97
Schuckman 99
Middendorf 100
Noodlehauser 100
Marth 105
Linkster 112
Marth-in-law 136

Yes, PPGA history was set by a one-time wonder, Marth's father-in-law, who is listed as Hap on his scorecard. Hapless would have been more appropriate. Somewhere, Hausdorf weaps knowing his previous "best" of 129 has been smashed by some Hoosier who only got in because he's married to a PPGA wanna-be.

Has Marth ever played with us before? The last time a WGEM TV sports dude played, he showed up at Palmyra wearing Wrangler jeans. Welcome to the Tour, Ben. We'll see you again in '09.

Hap really was the man. He didn't throw up any Goughs (a 12), but was consistent on the backside with back-to-back-to-back 10s. If this were bowling, we could have given him a turkey.

He wasn't the only one in double digits though. EE made like Roy McAvoy on No.3. He dumped a couple of balls into the drink en route to a 10. In true PPGA fashion, EE bounced back with par on his next hole. As the dude who wore Wranglers used to say, "Excellent stuff, of course."

With no Raymond around to spice things up, there wasn't anything too Slappy that happened. So, we'll give EE Slappy of the Week honors for his 10. I'd give it to Hapless, but it wouldn't be the same. (By the way, from all accounts, Hap was a good guy to play with, no harm meant with the Hapless stuff.)

Hap easily won Hardcore honors, saving the Linkster from a sure season long sweep of that honor.

We had a couple new faces on board outside of Marth and Hap. Jason Dyer, personal trainer to the stars (Rabe, Russ Michna, DOB!!!!), made his first appearance. Joe Middendorf, a Cardinals/Spurs fan who coaxes people into buying ad space in the H-W, also made his debut. Hopefully, we'll see more of you two in the future.

Can't remember who won greenies that day, but the early group didn't pay anyway.

Here are the up-to-date PPGA stats:

Scoring (events entered)
Maas 86 (1)
Anders 94 (1)
Broc 94 (1)
EE 95 (1)
DOB 96 (1)
Dyer 97 (1)
Schuckman 99 (1)
Middendorf 100 (1)
Noodlehauser 100 (1)
Marth 105 (1)
Linkster 112 (1)
Hapless 136 (1)

Birdie Leaders
1. Maas, 1
1. EE, 1

Par Leaders
1. Maas, 5
2. Anders, 4
2. Schuckman, 4
4. DOB, 3
4. Broc, 3
4. EE, 3
7. Dyer, 2
7. Noodlehauser, 2
9. Marth, 1

Wins (place won)
1. Maas 1 (Westview)

Hardcore
1. Hapless 1 (Westview)

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