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Welcome to the web home of the Piss Poor Golfers Association ... as well as other various thoughts from the Commish. (And don't forget to ask me about making a birdie on No. 15 at Augusta National.)

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Hey, Heagy: We hate Deer Run

The Piss Poor Golfers Association gathered Sunday, June 4 for the Hey, Heagy Memorial.

Once again, we saw some deer on the way to the course. Sadly, no sight of our former favorite ad salesman from what is now Insight Cable. Damn.

Unlike last year when the Heagy was a victim of weather, we were able to get this year's event in despite being rained on twice on the way up. Many in the field of seven had wished the rain would have kept coming. Plainly put, we all stunk.

The winner of the festivities was Broc, who had an 83. As a wedding present to the producer of the Quincy area's best morning radio show - The WGEM SportsCenter Presented by Hardee's, which can be heard from 7 to 9 a.m. Monday through Friday on WGEM AM 1440 - we're going to suspend him for a tournament. He's getting too good again. Only a meltdown on the back nine, which was common for most of the field, kept him from breaking 80. All of the other scores pretty much blew.

For the record, here they are:
Broc 83
Crim 94
Noodle 99
DOB 103
Linkster 117
Pryor 119

The only real race was for the hardcore title. After a sizzling start to his PPGA career at the Crim Challenge, the Linkster had a foil in PPGA rookie Craig Pryor. The Linkster was the only PPGAer to leave the course happy as he failed to claim his second straight hardcore title. Pryor edged him by two shots -119 to 117. Somehow, we need to get Hausdorf out from saving the city of Canton and have a three-way dance for PPGA supremecy. The public - and the PPGA faithful - demand it.

The only non-competing marker in the field was Maas, who carded an 80, but stunk on the back nine like the rest of us.

(Nearly forgot that we played the PPGA odds game on the course, too. The second group of DOB, Crim and Broc, while waiting for the hackers in front of us after they teed off on No. 1, mulled some odds. The Commish set the Linkster's over under at 120 - Broc took the over - and the group's combined score at over/under 400. Broc took the under there and was wrong again as Maas, Noodle, the Linkster and Pryor combined for a 415.)

Greenies went to Crim, Broc, Maas and Pryor, who had the shot of the day on No. 18. With a huge gallery around the green the par-3 18th (Ok, it was just three people), Pryor rolled his shot within 10 feet of the cup. He missed the birdie chance, but made a par to close it.

Shot of the day honors go to Crim for chipping in for birdie on No. 15. Slappy of the Week honors could go to Duerr for not showing up, but we'll be nice to him because he did have a family committment that he had told the commish about. Instead, we'll go to Broc for whipping his club into his cart after a terrible tee shot on No. 18. Had EE been there, he would have been proud.

This may be the last ever PPGA trip to Deer Run, too. The horseshoe hole, the par-5 13th may be the dumbest hole ever made. What other par-5 do you have to hit iron off of in order to keep it in play. While there are some nice holes there, this one stinks. The field averaged am 8.8 on the hole. Pryor had an 11 and the Linkster a 9. The DOB/Crim/Broc combo went 7s across the board.

We'll next gather on June 25 at Mosswood Meadows Golf Course in beautiful Monroe City, Mo., for the annual Twin Peaks Classic. Hopefully, we can get a good crowd there.

Here are the latest batch of PPGA rankings (remember, we don't count you non-competing markers here, except for the greenie money you steal from us):

PPGA Order of Merit
1. Broc (83.5, 2)
2. Crim (90.3, 3)
3. FedEx Bob (91, 2)
4. Schuckman (94, 1)
5. Ervin (95, 2)
6. DOB (96.7, 3)
7. Noodle (102, 2)
8. Weast (103, 1)
9. Pryor (119, 1)
10. The Linkster (120, 2)

Birdie leaders
1. FedEx Bob 2
1. Crim 2
3. Broc 1

Par leaders
1. Hampsmire 15
2. Crim 13
3. DOB 9
4. FedEx Bob 7
5. Ervin 5
6. Schuckman 4
7. Noodle 2
7. Weast 2
9. Linkster 1
9. Pryor 1

Gough leaders (making a 12 on a hole)
None

Greenie money leaders (money won, No. of greenies won)
1. Crim ($31, 4)
2. DOB ($15, 2)
3. FedEx Bob ($14, 2)
3. Broc ($14, 2)
5. Maas ($7, 1)
5. Pryor ($7, 1)

Championships (where won)
1. Broc (2, Westview, Hamilton)
2. FedEx Bob (1, Cedar Crest)

Hard-core titles (where won)
1. Ervin (1, Westview)
1. Linkster (1, Cedar Crest)
1. Pryor (1, Hamilton)

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