And the winner is...

Gents,

The Piss Poor Golfers Association held its 2005 PPGA Championship on Sunday, Aug. 28 at Quincy's Westview Golf Course.

Here are the scores:

Schuckman 84
DOB 88
Duerr 88
Ervin 93
Crim 94
Husar 99
Weast 109
Hausdorf 123

Two ex-offico members were in the field. Hart had a 76, while Mahon shot an 80 as they both played up to their 'A' standard. Two others who had committed backed out on Sunday morning - Shawn Altgilbers and Kerry Anders. Anders had called the course to cancel, while who really expected a college kid like Altgilbers getting up before noon on a Sunday anyway?

Schuckman's steady play helped him grab to the title. The Big Red Head had nothing higher than a 6 on his card, made five pars and posted a birdie 4 on No. 5. Making the feat even more impressive was the fact he was playing with loaner clubs. The police are still trying to help Schuck find his old set, which was lifted from his front yard. Damn, Quincy's a hard town. Schuckman's round was the second-most impressive round played with loaner clubs by a PPGA member this season. No. 1 on the list you might ask? Well, the Commish had to play with loaners at Augusta National in April and made a birdie on No. 15 with those clubs. Had Schuck had a caddy like "Doc" he may have broken 80.

As expected, Hausdorf came back after a long layoff to reclaim the PPGA "Hardcore" championship that is his birthrite. The mayor of Canton, Mo., shot a sparkling 123. However, he didn't have the worst hole of the day. He carded nothing higher than a 9.

He was bettered by both Husar and EE, who was shamed into playing. Of course, Ervin couldn't make it through a PPGA Championship without making some type of headline. EE and "Hard Luck" Husar, which is what Weast calls him, both made 10 on No. 17.

To further show how great the PPGA is, Husar bounced back by closing with a birdie on No. 18, while Ervin made a par on the home hole. Husar's bird helped keep him in double digits, while EE's par helped him edge Crim.

Greenie money was evenly split between EE, O'Brien, who as the only one to validate his greenie by making the birdie putt on No. 9, Weast and Hart.

Slappy of the day? Where should I start?

Weast for showing up hung over? But that's nothing really new.

Then there was Hausdorf who was standing on the tee at No. 2 and had Mahon ask the O'Brien-Hart-Weast group if they had seen Hausdorf's driver on the tee at No. 1. When DOB-Hart-Weast got to the No. 2 tee box, Hausdorf's driver was lying on a bench.

Weast had another Slappy moment by using a Crim hand wedge on No. 17. The first PPGA hand wedge since Crim invented the move at Camp Point a few years ago.

But the last Slappy move of the day took the cake. Teeing off near the tee standards all day finally caught up to Schuckman on the home hole. While teeing off on No. 18, Schuckman not only struck his ball, but also connected with one of the heavy tee box markers and sent it a good 25 feet. Schuckman paid dearly for his hit as he may have reinjured his shoulder on the hit.

With that came the end of another PPGA season. Who knows if we'll do a silly season event or not. If we can find enough A players to carry our sorry butts maybe we could do a two-person best ball event or something.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment.

Until next time,

The Commish