The PPGA and more

Welcome to the web home of the Piss Poor Golfers Association ... as well as other various thoughts from the Commish. (And don't forget to ask me about making a birdie on No. 15 at Augusta National.)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

A treat for the PPGA


PPGA Commissioner Don O'Brien, left, receives his green jacket from PPGA legend Don "Hootie" Crim.


QUINCY, Ill. (AP) - In what was a glorious day for anyone associated with the Piss Poor Golfers Association, league commissioner Don O'Brien was given the gift of a lifetime by Masters champion Eldrick "Tiger" Woods.

O'Brien received a green jacket from Woods in the mail just in time to parade around the Herald-Whig offices on Halloween. O'Brien, a regular on the WGEM Sunrise Radio program as well as the award-winning WGEM SportsCenter Presented by Hardee's, sported his new look on both programs on Monday.

"Hey, I have a few extra ones in my closet," Woods said. "Plus, Elin's been on my ass to clean up. All I need is one green jacket. Once I heard about DOB's big day at Augusta National I had to hook a brutha up."

O'Brien's accomplishment at Augusta National during a media day round the day after Woods' fourth victory last April has become the thing of legend in this sleepy town along the Mississippi River. The sports editor at the local newspaper, O'Brien's become somewhat of a cult hero since his big day on Bobby Jones' playground. Babies have been named after him, kids try to emulate him and what he was able to do on the tricky Augusta National layout.

In a move that could only be scripted in Hollywood, O'Brien delivered with the pride of not only the PPGA, but the entire town of Quincy, his hometown of Galesburg, Ill., and his family hanging in the balance. Playing with clubs he rented the day before while Woods and Chris DiMarco dueled on the front nine of the Masters, O'Brien delivered with the performance of his life. He carded a sizzling 109, including the shot heard around the Tri-States - the infamous birdie on No. 15. With his caddie, "Doc," leading the way, O'Brien went driver, 5-iron, 5-iron to reach the green in regulation.

What happened next was pure magic. With "Doc" perfectly reading the putt, O'Brien attempted a 15-footer with about 18 inches of left to right break on it. Channeling the ghost of Bobby Jones himself, O'Brien hit a perfect putt into the bottom of the cup. All of O'Brien's playing partners went crazy and he got a standing ovation from a worker in the observation area. One of the best sports moments in Quincy history had just happened. Fortunately, O'Brien was able to chronicle his account for all to see. His story in the Herald-Whig got back to Woods.

"I actually saw the story in the bottom of a bird cage," Woods said. "Elin has a thing for parrots. I hate the damn birds, but she thinks it's cute that they can talk. Whatever. I went to the store and the story was at the bottom of the cage. We were going to name it Stevie after my caddie, but after reading the story we decided to go with DOB because he made the birdie. That guy's amazing.

"I had made birdie there the day before, so I knew how difficult it was to accomplish. Then the club went and lengthened the hole after the tournament was over. I heard through the grapevine they did that because of DOB's birdie. Hell, they tried to TigerProof the course and I'm still winning there. I can only imagine the damage DOB would do if he came back down to play."

O'Brien, a modest type if there ever was one, was stunned with Woods' gift.

"This one is for all the boys in the PPGA," O'Brien said through tears. "It's for guys like Eric Ervin and Matt Schuckman, who have no game. For Don Crim, inventor of the hand wedge. For Chris Duerr and his injured labia. For Ben Marth, who can never finish a round of golf. For hardcore legends like Bob Gough and George Hausdorf.

"For Rodney Hart and the other ex-officios, all of whom are too good to be hanging out with us. And it's for Noodlehauser, who personifies what the PPGA is all about by searching for lost balls in the woods while wearning a walking boot.

"This is one is for my peeps."

Not everyone was happy for O'Brien though. There was some backlash at his workplace. Others thought he was an idiot, which is really no different than any other day.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game," O'Brien said to his detractors. "I have game and you don't. Not to mention a nice green jacket and one more birdie than you'll ever have at Augusta National."

Plans for viewings of O'Brien's green jacket are being planned throughout the area. Eventually, the green jacket will be either put on display at the Quincy Museum or encased in glass in the Oakley-Lindsay Center next to a T-shirt once worn by former Quincy Gems pitcher and current Chicago White Sox World Series hero Neal Cotts.